Inside Out


This year is supposed to be a year to take some time for myself, to reflect about who I am, and figure out something more about me. 

Among the multiple discoveries I have made, I had more than a discovery; a revelation if you will.

For those who don’t know me, I’m a “special” kid. I’m the kind of person that always forgets everything, loses everything, and has mental breakdowns at least once a week.

During the past two years this problem has started to become worse and worse every day. Although I made the diagnosis myself, it seems to explain what has been happening to me recently. 

I figured out that there might be something missing in my brain structure. Most likely in the short memory section. This “hole” is causing me to forget the easy and normal things that any sane person would remember. 

I’m sure that this disease is caused by an episode that happened so many years ago and I started to show my symptoms later in life. When I was 18 months old I started crawling and having fantastic exploration adventures. During one of these adventures I started messing around in my dad’s gym at home. He was on his exercise bike, and of all things, I found what he was doing really interesting. Making the smart decision, I went to take a closer look. Unfortunately, it was too close to the machine and one of the speed pedals hit my head.

Aren’t I adorable?

After that day something changed me and made me who I am. I was fine with that. I learned to love myself for who I am until the symptoms started showing up.

But let me tell you some events that make me come to this conclusion.

One of the most common symptoms is that I usually forget where I put my stuff. Two seconds after I put my glasses, my wallet or my phone (this is the most common), I have no idea where they are. It has even happened that I couldn’t find my glasses and after 30 minutes of searching, I found out that they were on my head all the time.

Since my first day here in America I already lost  them three times. I don’t know how but they always find their way back to me. Now there hasn’t been a problem since I broke them.

These mental breakdowns I’ve been having started recently. Exactly after I came here. So far I had two that were bad enough to bring my crazy mind to the decision of bleaching my hair and dying it black. I don’t remember the reason or how that happened but it did. 

If you are one of my friends, be patient with me. I’m sick, I won’t remember your name before the fifth time you will tell me. When people ask my name, I have to really concentrate in order to remember it. Sometimes I start to panic because I don’t remember my own name. When I’m learning the name of someone new, it is more complicated. 

If you are my teacher, I swear that I put all my effort into remembering things that I am taught, but don’t trust my memory too much. Don’t expect me to remember to bring that paper in or that I won’t lose my material.

But don’t worry I’m trying to expose this problem to someone with a medical degree that can help me to find a cure; something that will close this hole that in the past three years made inside my brain. After some research, I’m already trying to make the situation better by using a special diet called “the student diet”. It is rich in B vitamins and protein, a lot of fish helps our brain with our memory, unfortunately Arizona is not exactly the right state where to find sea food.

I’m going to fight against it I’m not letting the hole in my brain stop me.